Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Real Me...

Angela over at "Pickles on Pizza" has inspired today's musings. She wrote about being Authentic, being real. I struggle with that all the time. There have been times in my life where I felt true to myself and times where I did not. The older I get, the less I feel I have to conform and sacrifice my authenticity to fit in with the group.

When I started teaching, six years ago, I began to feel more authentic than I ever have. The pieces all clicked. And then the dragon of rheumatoid arthritis reared its ugly head and I was swallowed up. At first I fought hard, but I felt I didn't know how to be authentic and fight this disease. I now feel I have surrendered and let the dragon win. 

But yesterday I started fighting again. See, when the dragon wins, I do nothing. So fighting meas doing and yesterday I did. I feel I have a long way to go before I find myself again, the person I was before RA crashed into my life. But writing this, this is a start. 

Monday, January 02, 2012