I stopped telling myself I would blog more often because I could see right through me. ;)
But the other lies, from my last post, well, they are becoming truths.
My new medicine is working.
I booked the trip, went, and had a wonderful time!
I ran today, and yesterday, and last week. (Granted, I'm slow, but steady.)
My dogs get walked more regularly too.
I'm better than fine, it really isn't that bad (right now), and I will never, ever let it get me down... EVER!
My last flare, short and not bad at all, was in May. Since then I have been teetering so close to normal I can feel it. Like everything with my RA, the changes are gradual and subtle. The realization that the stiffness in the morning is gone comes to me in the doctor's office when she asks about it. I think and try to remember when it left. But I can't recall.
Looking back over the past two months I see the prominent position that RA plays is my life slipping away and something else has taken over. Something like "life"? I think so. I definitely think it is so.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
* I'll blog more often.
* This new medicine will work.
* Sure, book that trip! I'll feel better in May.
* I will run today.
* I will walk the dogs today.
Lies I tell everyone else...
* I'm fine.
* It's not that bad.
* It doesn't get me down!
The truth? I lie to myself and to you every single day. I have to. If I didn't, then I would curl up in a fetal position in my bed and never get up.
I tell myself every day that it won't hurt as much, and most of the time I am wrong. But I tell myself again the next day, and the next.
I ignore the pain, the stiffness, and the fatigue, because if I didn't then I could not work, create, or dream.
I ignore my hands and use them and push them and curse them.
I lie to everyone. I lie, lie, lie... And because I do, I am living and hoping and laughing and crying and believing that tomorrow might be different.
Saturday, February 09, 2013
The East is socked in and I am jealous.
We had a blizzard a few years ago and I loved the brutal quiet and cold.
I loved watching dogs cavort and try to clear two foot drifts with their stubby legs.
I loved how it slowed everything down and doing nothing but watching snow, making soup, and curling up with cats was completely acceptable and anything else was frowned upon.
Posted by joan at 7:58 AM
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
I've been a terrible blogger this past year. Granted, the year pretty much sucked, but that is no excuse. You would have loved to have read all about the suckage, yes? Doubt it.
So, a bit of a recap in photos and then a commitment to better blogging for 2013!
Mr. Dumbles started off the year by adopting this Christmas basket and making it is own space. We have left the basket out all year.
Noodle spent most of the winter and all of the spring battling mono. She was one sick puppy!
The school year of 2011-2012 ended (my first at the Junior High) and I was ready for summer. It was a difficult year for so many reasons, but I was determined to hang in there and give it one more year.
Since October, my RA has been relentless. Some days are ok, others are hard, really hard. I think this month my doctor and I will look at other options.
As I said, I am committing to being a more consistant blogger. I hope you stick with me through this next year.
Posted by joan at 11:28 AM