Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Lies I tell myself...

* I'll blog more often.

* This new medicine will work.

* Sure, book that trip! I'll feel better in May.

* I will run today.

* I will walk the dogs today.

Lies I tell everyone else...

* I'm fine.

* It's not that bad.

* It doesn't get me down!

The truth? I lie to myself and to you every single day. I have to. If I didn't, then I would curl up in a fetal position in my bed and never get up. 

I tell myself every day that it won't hurt as much, and most of the time I am wrong. But I tell myself again the next day, and the next. 

I ignore the pain, the stiffness, and the fatigue, because if I didn't then I could not work, create, or dream. 

I ignore my hands and use them and push them and curse them.

I lie to everyone. I lie, lie, lie... And because I do, I am living and hoping and laughing and crying and believing that tomorrow might be different.